Figuratively speaking, of course.

I have certainly penned my fair share of copy as a sort of “keystroke for hire” enterprise.  Image

And it has provided a lovely supplemental income along the way so I have no complaints.  In one sense it is so much safer.  My reputation is only the line with my solitary and secretive customer who may reject my articles and demand something new and different at any moment.   And truly the risk is assumed by whomever chooses to engage me as their voice.  The true nature of ghost writing is that I cannot claim any of the documentation even when it turns out to be great.  Ok, in an effort to be truly transparent I am not aware that anything I have written has been considered great.

My experiences in ghost writing have been accumulated over the past 5-8 years, but my existence as a ghost became apparent about 15 years ago and has been verified over and over and over since then.  You see, at some point in my 30’s – I can actually pinpoint the day I became aware – I became invisible in a retail environment.

The moment of clarity was one day when I was shopping in a major electronics retailer. After browsing alone I engaged in conversation with a retail guy simply by asking for his help.  I was shopping for a computer and wanted to ask a couple of questions about two models I was considering.  I asked, and he was answering in great detail until he was interrupted by a middle-aged white guy who interrupted us by asking the retail clerk if he knew anything about the new Gateway.  The retail clerk stopped speaking to me in mid-sentence and he and the middle aged white guy walked away engaged in lively and animated computer talk.

I am smart.  I am not stylish nor attractive, but I am smart.  So I surmised that, unbeknownst to me, in that instant I evaporated.  In a sort of now-you-see-me now-you-don’t, I ceased to be a human in the retail environment. Image

Just as abruptly as those two walked away, I ended my shopping trip and shortly thereafter became my new bff.  I am never invisible to Amazon.   Or perhaps all of us Amazonians are invisible but at least that gives us equal footing.

The retail invisibility that began long, long ago has continued and can be recreated on any given day in any given store.  I am perpetually hard-pressed to find anyone in any kind of retail environment that will actually “help” me.  I don’t shop at high end clothiers so most of those staff are busy being clerks taking money and simply aren’t available to lend a hand with styles and colors and sizes.

This invisibility used to annoy me endlessly.  I considered entering stores while brandishing $20 bills or buying and conspicuously wearing a fake Rolex just to garner some attention.   Ultimately I decided neither of those ploys would make a difference.

So I blame it on my ovaries.  And my breasts.   And my Fallopian tubes.  And my uterus.

Like most women my age, I became invisible because of my “lady parts”.

Ovaries shut down, breasts sag, Fallopian tubes atrophy but money remains.  And talks and talks and talks.  So while I may be invisible in your store, I will let my money be my voice.  Now if you’ll excuse me I gotta go buy more stuff on Amazon.